AFTER THE HONEYMOON HAS ENDED

Posted by Lumiere Maroon on

The end goal of every relationship is “happy-ever-after”, but in the most cases, this dream is abandoned just after the first few months of the affair. Wondered why everything suddenly goes south? Why the butterflies left your tommy? Truly, at the beginning of every good relationship everything seems perfect and just right. You both think alike, have similar stance concerning almost every issue. Your minds synchronise and every event is incomplete without the presence of the other person, nothing best describes this phase than the word “honeymoon”. However, just as the moment seem to last forever, the beginning of its end emerges.

Yelling replaces sweet words, and arguments instead of explanation. Abrupt change of event makes you long for those times when the union was sweet and romantic. Who says sweet times should or would have an end? You can consciously keep the sweetness in your relationship for as long you breathe if only you would do certain things right, certain things you might have ignored or do not know exist. Here are tips on how to maintain your honey after honeymoon.

1. Be the Vulnerable

As opposed to the general notion that vulnerability is a sign of weakness, it is in fact, a mark of maturity and tolerance. Ironically, it is a determinant for a long lasting romantic relationship. The first element that cuts short your honeymoon phase is ego. You not wanting to let go of your stance at the expense of your partner, and your partner not letting go, is the beginning of a sour relationship. Yes, it’s your words against his’, but in the end, none of that would matter when what you both hold dear varnishes.

2. Change your love Language

Noticed that your partner barely appreciates nor recognises your efforts in making him/her happy? Perhaps you are doing the right thing in a wrong manner. How plausible is this? Dr. Chapman, author of The 5 love Languages opines that each of us has two dominant love languages of five: physical touch, receiving gifts, acts of service, quality time, and words of affirmation. It then follows that you must identify what best describes your partner and treat them accordingly. If you have been doing it rightly, reinforce your actions and do not relent. Whatever you do, let your relationship be top priority. It is not an odd thing to do when you surf the net and read articles that can help make your relationship better.

3. Dress spick-and-span

That that clothe is your favourite shouldn’t translate as “over-wear” it. Always exercise your charm and attraction in house and outdoor. Pay attention to what you wear, and how you wear what you wear, if you need to go to event functions together, make sure the clothes and outlooks are immaculate to show your partner the respect, don't just wear the same clothes to every party. Surf the net for trendy outfits. Consciously seek your partner’s opinion, and try to please them if needs be. You would find alluring and even matching outfits here.

4. Stop nagging and complaining

To overcome this is difficult but it can be achieved. When you are upset, you easily want to say everything and leave nothing unsaid so that your partner will know how terrible you feel about the situation. The fact is, this just makes things worse. If not well managed, it might cost you both your relationship. Concentrate on how you can improve what you have control over. If you both focus on how you can improve yourselves, you take steps toward progress. Do not talk when either of you is angry. Issues are best resolved when both parties are calm. Be the first to say “I’m sorry” if you did wrong.

5. Pay attention to being romantic, sex is but a privilege

You should not expect to get lucky every time, and have your way with the same routine. The only short cut to getting laid is being romantic all day. Doing the things that will ignite positive vibes in your partner.  You know that romance itself is dynamic. So being seductive and attractive enough for your partner is dependent on how creative you can be, and as discussed earlier, knowing your partner’s love language will go a long way in making the process a lot less stressful.

6. Be a listener, rather than a fixer

When your partner reports a situation to you, never automatically assume the position of the fixer. Sometimes, he/she just wants you to listen and be aware of the decision. This where you often get it wrong. No one is an island, and you know this, giving your partner the benefit of the doubt and allowing them to handle certain things themselves, helps build the intimacy between you both. That way, each other’s differences is greatly admired and respected.

7. Never expect more than you have given

You attract what you desire. Your actions and inactions have a way of returning back to you. That is what make the world what it is already today. When you give love out, good energy will bring the love back to you. Treat others how you want to be treated. This can be rephrased as never to assume that every relationship is a 50/50 participation. There is always a time when your partner is down and needs you to give in the 100%. Never ignore that responsibility, because a time will definitely come when you will be the one in short and will need your partner to give in 100%.

8. Always know that your wedding is not the best day ever, every day is.

Definitely, it's a nice day. Expectantly, it's an amazing day. But it's miserable to think that the first day of being married is the best day of your life. Every day should be the best day, and you must consciously strive to achieve this. Find out what you're both zealous about and do it together. Travel. Exercise. Write. Paint. Sing. Drink coffee. Get a pet. Go to movies. Make your best days after the wedding.

Keeping any relationship alive and sweet is never an easy thing to do, this is because of our unique differences. That the feeling of being in love is a state of the mind that can greatly affect our physique and acts, means that lovers must brave all odd and stay together for as long as they can, making each other’s needs top priorities.


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